Tough Love or Enabling , Damned If You Do, damned If You Don't

In my life there are several people with some really dire issues. It could be drugs, alcohol, depression any sort of addictive or obsessive thing. The common thread is in the end there are friends and family left behind. All of these people regardless of what role they played in the trauma-drama , all of them are sad. The enablers are sad for being a part of it or contributing to it and the tough love folks are sad for being so tough all the time. It's one big pileof guilt for both groups to live with. This note is for the people with the problem. You need to fix your fucking problem and act right and quit dragging all of us through your crap all the time. My ex wife is dead and gone but all that's left is sadness and guilt. Everyone that loved her feels like they could've done something more. The truth is that she was the one that needed to give herself a hand up and out of the chaos. I couldn't fix it all of my 'being there' couldn't fix it and all of my 'washing my hands of her' couldn't fix it. The only person that can fix you is you. It's selfish for you to behave this way and it hurts the people that care about you. Then one day you just end up dead and all that is left is guilt and sadness. Not for you, because you are gone. Guilt and sadness for all the people that tried so hard to help. Help yourself.